Tuesday, January 1, 2008

where is my dream

I remember once my psychoanalysis teacher told us that your language could never tell the most truly feeling in your heart.
He has the reason! Just like now, I feel my heart is filled with something complex, I’m so willing to write them down, but unfortunately, I can’t, I just have no words to express them.
Yesterday, I’ve had an interview, which is quite important for me, with KENZO, my favorite brand in the fashion world, a big “Maison créateur de Luxe”. For better preparing my dossier for this interview, I have worked for it during a whole week without any break: from choosing the best materials in the Marché Saint Pierre, to calling all my friends who are in Lyon to send me some textile samples; from buying the color pencils and power-paste and papers to finding out the inspirations from all my fashion magazines… my whole Christmas and new year’s day were filled with hurry and worry attitude. But suddenly, it’s finished! The long preparation, the long waiting before the interview, has been changed by an hour’s discussion in the big and clear office of KENZO, it’s already not bad! Than, still a long waiting, more than 15 days…
I just don’t know why I’m always so busy, so tired, but I never know which way is in front of me. No pay, no gain, but for me, I have paid all, where is the gain?
Perhaps, I have to be more optimists. Anyway, it’s the life, and we all have to smile to our life everyday, even if face with some difficult situations. Everyday is new!
Sometimes, we have dreams, and sometimes we forget them. Maybe it’s better to neglect them, and than, we’ll be happier. But there are somebody, like me, can never forget them, they are just so deeply carved in my memory, that I can’t live a day without thinking of them.
So my life is always with a side melancholic. But that doesn’t bother me, and I know my life will be ended if I live without these dreams. Thanks to these dreams, I have still the power of life!